This is most commonly experienced as fear that her partner is not actually committed. A lot of women have what we might call heightened concern over anything that might appear to be a threat to her relationship. The trait we are going to be talking about is a unique sensitivity that many women experience but few are willing to talk about. This trait can cause a woman to feel insecure in her relationship even when her male partner is doing everything he can to make her feel safe. What causes women be susceptible to defense mechanisms when they are in romantic relationships often has to do with a second common female personality trait. Many women who are not particularly defensive in other areas of their life can become highly defensive when romance is involved. We are now going to talk about anger and blame as a defense mechanism or a coping mechanism for relationship insecurity. But there is another contributor to chronic anger and blame that can cause even more trouble in your relationship. High emotionality can play a major role in female anger. Her inability to question herself may leave her stuck in a holding pattern of always thinking she’s right and you are wrong. If she regularly relies on what her elevated emotions are telling her, she may have a very hard time listening to differing viewpoints. If she is constantly moving in and out of high-emotion states, she may end up with the belief that her emotional reality is always accurate and that you deserve the anger she is dishing out.Īnother problem associated with high emotionality in women is that they often assume they can use their emotions as a guidance system, almost like a sixth sense. A woman with high emotionality may not be able to maintain an even emotional keel for long enough to recognize that she was doing and saying things she didn’t mean. But there are many women who lack the skills of emotional regulation that the rest of us take for granted. Let’s begin the process of piecing this puzzle together by taking a look at what it is that drives a woman to be so angry at her romantic partner in the first place.Īlthough everyone gets into a high-anger state from time to time, most of us are able to bring ourselves back down soon enough to undo any emotional damage sustained by our loved ones. In fact, you can do it without any confrontation or even having to bring up the subject of anger to the woman in question. In fact, once you see both sides of this equation clearly, you will also realize that it is possible for you to put an end to chronic anger and blame in your relationship.Īlthough the subject of female anger may appear too hot to handle, there is a way to reverse this problem. You may be surprised to find out that there is a simple explanation that clears up this male-female paradox. Let’s see if we can now answer the question how can behavior be both psychologically destructive and socially acceptable at the same time. How can a behavior pattern that is considered harmful in any other context be thought of as acceptable when it takes place between a woman and a man she is close to?īecause men and women have such opposing views on this subject, we will need to examine both the male and female perspective. This leaves us with a very real question. Unfair anger and blame is a destructive force that can do serious psychological damage to those on the receiving end. You will probably get a knowing look and then some ribbing about your lack of knowledge about the use of the phrase, “Yes, dear.”Īlthough this subject is often laughed and joked about, one thing remains clear. Men may talk about it, but not in a serious way. Women for the most part are anything but comfortable talking about chronic anger in their relationship. Many men find themselves frustrated because they cannot find an open forum to discuss this very real problem. In fact, if you happened to express this theory of double standard to a woman you are romantically involved with, you may have even witnessed a clear example of the very issue you were trying to address. If you have ever brought the subject of a double standard for female anger up for discussion, you probably found out that men and women quickly gravitate to opposite sides of the fence over this issue. After all, they seem to be able to get away with behavior that in other contexts would be considered inappropriate and possibly even in some cases abusive. If you are like many men, you have probably wondered if there is a double standard that lets women off the hook for their anger at the men they are romantically involved with. Female Anger In Relationships Part 1 – Why Is She Always Mad At Me?
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